Dragging My Carcass To The Blog

Posted by Toni

How did I ever find the time to blog before?  It seems I don’t have a minute to myself anymore.  Where did all that free time go?  Oh yeah, I remember, I gave it all to my nazi personal trainer.

Yes, I still submit myself to his tortures.  Yes, I am still humiliated as he laughs at my pain.  I even “high-five” him at the end of our hour as I drag myself out the door, whimpering, wondering if I can lift myself up into my Suburban, and somehow raise my arms enough to grab the steering wheel and get myself home.

Why do I do this?  After all, my nazi PT is merely 21 years old, still a runny-nosed kid only slightly older than my dear Tinkerbell.  I’m old enough to be this boy’s mother!  And yet I dutifully obey him as he gives me impossible tasks to perform.  And while my arms are trembling, and my legs feel like I have lava in my veins, and while I am wheezing walking at 3 mph at an incline of 25, he grins and says “It’s only because I love ya!  And the best part is that you are paying me to do this to you!”  The only thing that makes me feel better during this hour is knowing that he is even more torturous to my sweet Nacho, and when I get to hop off the treadmill two minutes sooner than Nacho, it feels so great to say in a sing-song voice “Neener, neener, neener!”

So why do I do this?  Because, my friends, I am seeing results.  Yes!  I have lost 13 pounds, gained tons of muscle, I feel stronger, and my clothes are starting to hang – this after five weeks.

So I guess I will wipe his runny nose, knock him upside the head when he needs it, give him motherly advise, and submit myself to his exercises for another three months. 

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4 responses to “Dragging My Carcass To The Blog

  1. Sweet! Those are some great results. I have considered hiring a personal trainer but I think I’d scare them away with my dirty looks and swearing when they push me too hard (read: make me lift more than my daily serving of French fries…just kidding.)

  2. What? 13 lbs in 5 weeks?! I’ve got to get me one of those 21 year olds. Congrats and keep it up.

  3. Thanks for finally talking about >Dragging
    My Carcass To The Blog | Fight the Fluffy <Liked it!

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