Sorry, but I need to rant.

The snow has ruined my day. It’s March, so why is it still snowing, anyway? Why do I have to be stuck in this house with my kids, instead of getting out and doing the things I want to do? I am tired, and bitchy, and angry, and resentful, and bored and I don’t know….all I know is that I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be alone with my kids, and they probably wish they weren’t with me either.

My daughter’s dance class was cancelled this morning due to the snow, so to use up some of the very long day until their daddy comes home we mixed up a carrot cake. For some reason it didn’t set properly and I just dumped the whole damn thing in the garbage. I made a healthy breakfast. Didn’t snack all morning. Made a healthy lunch. But I didn’t feel satisfied. So I ate a (homemade and low-fat) banana muffin. Still didn’t feel satisfied. I had a chocolate bar in the cupboard that I bought from my daughter’s school’s fundraising campaign (angry about that, too – she’s only in pre-K!). Ate 2 squares. They didn’t even taste good. So I about a small handful of dark chocolate chips. That didn’t make me happy either.

I feel gross, and angry with myself for eating crap I didn’t even want, even though I probably haven’t consumed enough calories yet today to do any damage. But if I can’t cheer myself up with food anymore, what am I going to do? I can’t go for a walk right now. I can’t take a bath, can’t read a book, can’t watch tv….all I can do is chase the baby around and take care of all these other people’s needs. I really love my family, and I know that I’m lucky to be able to stay home with my kids….but….but….sometimes I just want to escape from all of it. From all of them.

This post doesn’t have a point. I just needed to leave my kids in the other room and clear my head and breathe. Sigh. But now the baby is crying and I have to go be the mommy again. No wonder it’s hard to lose weight…I’m so far down the list….

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5 responses to “Sorry, but I need to rant.

  1. Can you park them in front of DVD and have some time to yourself? I think you need the break and they’ll love the diversion.

  2. That’s when I take my kids to an indoor play space with a book. They can run around and be crazy and I can tune it out and read.

    My kids aren’t babies though, so if you have babies this would just mean chasing them around more.

    Can you trade babysitting with a friend and suggest she watch the kids first? ;0)

    Whatever you decide hang in there.

  3. Bleah. That truly BITES!

    A “movie-nap” is what you need. The kids get a movie and you get a nap. Sometimes sleep will fix what food will not…. though I feel you on the “I just ate crap I didn’t want, and I didn’t enjoy.”

  4. I totally get it! You feel trapped with no escape. All your previous escape routes have been taken away. And that baby is relentless.

    I think that there are two solutions here. First, you can just wait until bedtime and then get a few minutes back to yourself. Second, throw an inside party. Turn on upbeat music and dance with your kids until you are all breathless, get down on your hands and knees and chase after them, tickle them, fix them their favorite dinner, and then when they are in bed refer back to the first solution.

    Then when hubby gets home, make sure and let him know how much you missed him and appreciate him. You know, absent makes the heart grow fonder kind of thing!

  5. I can so, so identify with this!

    Sounds like you need some girl time!

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