I know we don’t know each other that well…. I know this is a weight loss blog. I know, but right now I don’t have anywhere else to write this.
For a girl who has been trying to get pregnant for over a year, the start of her period is a hard time to discover that she is starting her period. Especially if her PMS had included little tidbits like fatigue, nausea, and slightly sore boobs. This is all compounded by the fact that I have been having hives again. It’s been going on for over a month, and I’ve already seen a doctor about it. He was WRONG, as they always are when it comes to my poor body and the way it freaks periodically. It doesn’t help that this time the symptoms were just enough different for me to want to pin the blame on a new box of Bounce fabric softener, meanwhile I continue to take the very medication that is causing the problem. By now the Urticaria has climbed from my forearms, my lower stomach and the backs of my thighs to cover ALL of my limbs an torso.
I wear black every day to disguise the pinpricks of blood that soak into my pants, shirts and underclothing. I am misery. There is no happy place. Taking a shower is a burning, stinging and itching hell. Sleep is not much comfort. Add a sweaty workout, and the normal amount of chafing that happens during a run… and I have no “happy place” left but food.
I am not giving up, and I write down every point and every bite that goes into my mouth… but I can see that I am going to go over my points this week, and I HATE that. It doesn’t help knowing that I am going to have to do some balancing with my meds that will slow down my metabolism. It doesn’t help that my body is now officially stressed, a state that makes losing weight virtually impossible for me. And I grieve the loss of a baby that never even was. And now I am officially whining.
Tell me a joke, talk about success… take my mind of of this crap while I go and find the fingernail clippers. I gotta quit scratching!
Screw “Chicken Soup for the Soul” I need some “Dark Chocolate for the Psyche.”
At least it hasn’t gotten as far as my face yet.