I have a small confession. I’ve kinda been half-assing this whole weight loss/healthy lifestyle thing.  I’m not horrified but what I look like, not that I’m in love with what I see either…. I’m just okay, fine, complacent. So I was doing the Weight Watchers thing, just, complacently. Not really putting much effort into it, not really exercising as much as I could. I was choosing to put it on a back burner and it didn’t really bother me all that much.

Then I went to the doctor this week. And my choices? Have been taken away. I am Diabetic. Type 2.  Funny thing about it? I knew it was coming. I’ve had gestational diabetes with all of my pregnancies. My mom is a diabetic. I’ve never been able to handle lots of sugar (No, I actually don’t like ice cream. Weird, I know) So when my doctor told me, I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t confused. I wasn’t, anything. Just complacent.

 And the thing is? This is probably exactly what I needed. Because I’m a “rebel” at heart. Always have been. Don’t speed? Watch me. You can’t eat that way and lose weight? WATCH ME.  It’s a conundrum that makes as much since to me as it does you. Self sabotage, complacency, whatever. I just didn’t have my heart in the right place.

 So this was exactly what I needed. Because now? It’s NOT an option. And as funny as it seems? It’s the most liberating feeling in the world.


6 responses to “Complacency

  1. Um? You’re crazy…but I like that in a girl! My dad was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 10 years ago, and he’s done really well, but I think, in the back of my head, that ‘s one of the reasons I’ve decided to clean up the whole way I eat and think about food….because I could lose weight just by eating less, but I want the healthy glowing future too…and not even so much for myself, crazily enough, but for the two crazy, saucy, beautiful children pulling on my leg as I type.

    I’m glad that the diagnosis hasn’t knocked you for a loop, but if you need any support, let me know!

  2. I’m so sorry about your diagnosis and hope that you can get things equalized quickly.

    Before I got started on my weight loss, I was at risk of developing diabetes — too heavy, too much sugar in my diet, etc. I’m hoping that I’ve made enough changes in time.

  3. I can’t believe you are so Ok with the diagnosis, you are a strong woman. I really hope all goes well.

  4. My mum, who has been a size 26 most of her adult life was diagnosed with diabetes last summer. She’s now a 16.

    She says she’ll look at a food she shouldn’t eat and think to herself, “Death, dismemberment, blindness”, over and over. Suddenly, it doesn’t look so tempting. She’s finding joy in the foods she should and can eat and is happier than she’s been in a long, long time.

  5. Oh, Caroline… I have erased everything I wanted to say because it sounded stupid. I hate that word too. You seem so confident in your words. Are you ok with it all?

  6. Ahhh crap. Sorry about the big “D” , but it IS one of those things with a more immediate sort of feedback method to poor food choices. As in, eat a doughnut equals bloodsugar spike and you feel crappy. Or eat balanced and healthy equals feeling good today. Most of us don’t pay that sort of immediate price, so we kind of practice stoopid behaviors and lousy food choices for longer than we should. Not precisely a “silver lining,” but there ya go.

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