I have finally come back to face the music. I went on a month long vacation (way too long, just by the way) and just couldn’t bring myself to step on the scale when I got home. I knew things weren’t good because every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I noticed how much rounder my face looked. I just didn’t want to know the number. I am a big believer in avoidance. If I can ignore a problem long enough it just might go away. But that round face just kept showing up. I avoided this website. I didn’t post on it, I didn’t comment and I eventually stopped reading. Seriously, checking in here just made it that much harder to avoid the round face that was stalking me. Soon I started eating more because, if I am not going to try to lose weight I might as well have some chocolate, right? This morning was the worst. I actually made a point not to look in the mirror. I took my kids to the park and visited with people in my neighborhood all without having a clue how I looked. When I got home I started looking for more food, just to keep me from thinking about that face and the number behind it. Finally I gave up. I trudged upstairs and I stepped on the scale.
It’s bad. Not only have I gained back all the weight I had lost, I also tacked on 5 more pounds just for fun. I now weigh 275 lbs. Yikes. Is that classic dieting behavior or what? But I have to say, now that I know the damage and I know that I have 10 months or so before I see my family in the US again, I feel motivated. This is new for me. Before, I wanted to be motivated, I pretended to be motivated, I knew I should be motivated, but I wasn’t. Now I feel like kickin’ some butt. So, here is my plan for this week. I will eat a better breakfast and lunch (dinners are pretty good) and stop the late night snacking. I will ride the stationary bike that has been mocking me. Finally, I will find and purchase one work out DVD and have tried it out before next Wednesday when I check in.
Sorry I flaked. I promise to better.