I am in the business of change right now. I am changing my patterns, my food, my portions, my level of activity; I am changing my head. While there are some positive benefits to what I am doing, the change itself? Sucks. It hurts, both literally and figuratively. I am using muscle groups that have not seen activity since the Reagan administration, and I am having to engage in Overt Sustained Self-Centeredness.
In some ways it’s the OSSC that hurts the worst. It’s certainly the larger obstacle to Fighting the Fluffy over here in Chaosville. Very likely the largest obstacle, even bigger than my wide behind.
I am moving from unconscious eat-what-is-handy-and-tastes-good to very conscious point/calorie/fiber/fat journal keeping. From sedentary lumpishness, to finding ways to keep myself moving, setting goals and achieving them. The sheer effort it takes to pay attention to theses things is sucking down my personal resources. I am at a heightened state of emotionality, touchy about any perceived sabotage, ferocious about guarding my precious workout time in the morning. I am not proud of this.
Please, is only
growing shrinking pains… this will pass and I will be better again. Only smaller. And stronger.