I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching this last week. I was doing really good and so excited to be here, then, I don’t know. I just stopped. And I feel like I’m sabotaging myself. It’s really awkward to sit down to lunch and second guess every bite. On the one hand, I honestly feel like I am doing all I can food-wise. I just need to get in that precious exercise.
I have been trying for 2 weeks now to get in a full workout. I can’t go in the morning, because (a) I’m a pansy and it’s cold and (b) my husband doesn’t want me to go alone anyways.
Then I try to do something in the daytime. But my kids think it’s really fun to jump on me. Don’t get me wrong, I love that they are trying to work out with me. It’s just that their “exercise” and my “exercise” are completely different. They prefer to (a) jump on my back (b) crawl in, around, or through my legs (c) sit on my feet and (d) drive me bonkers.
So then I figure, I’ll wait til they go to sleep. Then I’ll get in some cardio. But I’m not alone… My husband will watch me and LOOK. I’m not trying to be self conscious but I totally, 100%, unequivocally AM.
I can’t exercise in front of him. He has this look! And then, he’ll like, wrinkle up his nose and give me a half smile and it plain ole makes me nervous. It’s like he’s judging me. I hate it. And then he’ll say something sassy and I get mad and then he apologizes but not really and then I get madder and on and on and ON… (sidenote. Am I the only one that when I’m mad, he can still make me laugh, and then it makes me even more mad? Anyone?)
So I can’t exercise in front of him, for the sake of my marriage.
When am I supposed to fit it in? And please for the love of Pete, if you offer me sound advice like “Just wake up an hour earlier!” I will die. I will not wake up any earlier than I already do. I still have a baby that gets up to eat TWICE and I flat out refuse to get out of bed before 6 am.
Pretty much, just lie to me and tell me I’m not really THAT fat. Could you do that? and keep the sass to yourself.