Progress

By Jen:

Last Monday, I wrote here about how I’d slipped in the previous couple of weeks and regained a little weight.  My plan last week was to write down everything I eat and how much water I drink.

I’m pleased to report that I’ve lost three pounds since last week.  Probably some water weight, but the most important thing is that I’m going downward, not up.

It’s amazing how even a change of a couple of pounds is noticeable to me.  My clothes feel different.  I feel different.  I am definitely more aware of my body and what’s going on with it.

I have another challenge before me now:  Fish and chips.  Specifically, we are leaving for England on Friday and will be gone for 10 days.  My challenge is to enjoy my vacation and not feel deprived, but also not come home having gained weight.  We’ll be walking a lot, so I think I can do it.  I’ll report back in two weeks and let you know.

Prepared

By Jen:

I’m spending all of today in a seminar related to a professional certification I’m working on.  Before I arrived this morning, I thought about what I’d need for the day.  I knew that drinks, including lots of water, would be provided.  I knew that we’d be eating boxed sandwiches for lunch.  I also knew there was a vending machine full of junky foods, in case people got hungry later in the day.  This last possibility worried me, as I knew I could very easily make bad choices if I were hungry enough.  So, just in case, I packed some healthy snacks.

Lunch was exactly as I predicted it would be.  I ate less than half of the ginormous sandwich, splurged by having only a few of the chips in the single serving bag, and completely ignored the over-salted pasta salad.  Consequently, I feel good about having not overeaten, especially since I am now not in a food-induced stupor and can actually pay attention to the instructor.  (Well, except that I’m obviously blogging right now…)

Interestingly enough, a couple of catering people came in a little while ago and set out light snacks for us: fruit and granola bars.  It’s nice that someone thought of that detail and that the snacks are healthy.  All the same, I’ll stick with the small container of almonds and raisins I packed.

So I’m feeling pretty good right now.  I ate a healthy breakfast, didn’t overindulge and lunch, and have a mid-afternoon snack if I need it. 

Now if only my seminar were just a little bit more interesting…

Too many compliments

I was at my daughter’s dance class this morning (after a 3 week hiatus) and all the moms started complimenting and questioning me about my weight loss.  They kept going on about how much I’ve lost, and how fast I’ve lost it.  But it hasn’t been that fast, it’s just that they’ve only just noticed.  Partly that’s because I’ve gotten into smaller clothes, which has inspired me to get my hair done, and put on make-up….I look better all around.

The conversation made me very uncomfortable.  I’d prefer no one to comment on my weight at all – a simple, “hey!  You look great!” is nice, but these ladies went on and on.  I think they were trying to be nice, and maybe some of them were hoping for tips, but it sent me straight home to my children’s easter basket. 

Why did it make me so anxious and uncomfortable? 

It’s Official

After dancing around with a bevy of mystery ailments, and the resulting self-pity eating for about a month, I have finally cleared up my health issues and straightened out my eating. Back on track and I have finally, officially hit my 50 pound mark.

Insert obnoxious dance of glee, coupled with cross-eyed and LOUD hoots of joy.

Digging in for the NEXT 50 pounds. I can DO this!

Losing ground

By Jen

I’ve lost a bit of ground in the past couple of weeks.  I slipped on my food resolutions, allowed my portion sizes to increase in size, and snacked more than I should.  Consequently, I’ve gained back a few pounds.  Luckily, I’ve kept up my level of exercise.  I shudder to think how bad things could have gotten if I had not.

There’s no real reason for any of this, other than a lack of thought.  That’s all.  But I am now reminded of how easy it is to slip and lose ground.  Even though it’s only a few pounds, my body has really told me how much it hates those pounds.  I’ve felt bloated and ungainly.

So this week and next I’ll be recalibrating things.  Writing down what I eat.  Tracking how much water I drink.  Thinking carefully about every bite of food that goes into my mouth BEFORE it goes into my mouth.

Hopefully, when I step on the scales again in a week, I’ll be pleased with what I see.

Cruising For Food

This past week I went on a Mexican Riviera Cruise for eight days.  I had a goal set to reach before I left, and I reached it.  I was so excited.  In fact, I was so excited that I took all my weight loss tools with me on the cruise and was determined to not be tempted by all the available, scrumptious food on a cruise.  I did so well the first two and a half days.  But it can be so difficult to figure out points when I’m not sure how they prepare the food.  So I put my point books away and enjoyed the food.  However, I did visit the on-board gym faithfully.

How did I do?  I don’t know.  I’m sitting here with a swollen left ankle (water retention from traveling) and feeling like I will probably have to work at getting back to where I was, and then continue on from there.  But I had fun, and I can begin again in the morning. Life is forgiving, and so must I be.  It will feel good to get back to eating healthy food and less rich food.

What Was I Thinking????

I just walked a 5K + about another .5 mile in less than 90 minutes.  Must.  Die.  Now.

P.S.  I’ve got 2 more days to go and I’ll have exercised every day of Lent.  Woot!

I need “Queer Eye for the Fluffy Gal”

By Jen

One of the frustrations I’m facing with losing weight is my wardrobe. I’m currently between sizes, so I can either opt to wear things that are too big or too tight. Depending on what the item of clothing is will determine which way I go.

Today, for example, I had a business lunch and had to look nice. Normally, I wear jeans or yoga pants for my arduous commute down to my home office in my basement. Today, however, I had to ramp it up a bit. Makeup, jewelry, and shoes that don’t have a comfy athletic sole. I needed a nice outfit, but which one? I have dress pants that are much too big and some that will fit better in about 5-10 pounds. I ended up going with the latter pants and wore a really great long jacket that really made the outfit and covered my hips and butt. But I was just so uncomfortable and I ended up wearing that outfit for over three hours. (I’m home now and back to wearing my comfy jeans.)

On a different note, in a couple of weeks, my family will be going on vacation. Ten days in England. (Feel free to hate me.) I’m not planning to do laundry while we’re gone, so I’ll need to pack enough clothes to get me through that time. I’m fine for shirts and sweaters, but right now, I have exactly three pairs of casual pants that fit me. I also have pants in the next size down, but they’re just too uncomfortable to wear. It’s possible I’ll lose enough weight in the next two weeks that the pants will fit, but I can’t count on that. (I do have about six pairs of cropped pants and capris, but I don’t think it will be warm enough for me to pack those.) So I’m trying to decide if I should go shopping at Target and pick up at least one more pair of pants to tide me over. I normally wouldn’t mind except that it’s the end of winter and I’ll wear these pants for, at most, a month. If they still fit me next fall, then I have a whole new set of issues I’ll be blogging about in October.

So that’s what’s on my mind these days. I’m obsessed with fashion, which is just not how I usually roll.

790 #*@$% calories!!!!!

I haven’t been counting points or calories, but as I’ve been preparing almost all of my food myself, I have had a pretty good idea of what I’m eating.  I’ve become a bit obsessive compulsive when eating out though, looking up menus and nutritional analysis before going out.  Today I didn’t have a chance.  I was at the mall with a friend, and we decided to do lunch.  The food court, with my usual salad, was a zoo, so we went to Johnny Rockets.

I’ve never been there before, and I did know going in that a burger joint was unlikely to be the diet-friendliest of places.  I debated the veggie burger, but I’m not crazy about soy, and they’re not always that much lighter in fat or calories.  It would’ve been a better choice today.  I ordered the original burger, without cheese, and a diet coke.  I ate about 3/4 of the burger.  I googled the calories when I got home….790.  And I didn’t order any fries or onion rings!  I didn’t eat any of the kid’s, either.

 Needless to say, there will be no dessert tonight, and my dinner will consist of salad with the lightest of light vinaigrettes, and some cauliflower roasted without oil.  Sigh.

“Do you mind if I ask how it happened?”

The other night I went to a GNO dinner with some friends. When I walked in (wearing new skinnier clothes) everyone commented on how much progress I have made. The conversation quickly went to a photo I keep up in my house of my chubbier days. One of the girls asked the other if she has seen that photo of me, and them commented on how it didn’t even look like me.

She then asked me “Do you mind if I ask how it happened? How did you put on that much weight? I was taken back, not offended, just taken back. How did it happen? What led to me gaining so much weight? If I can’t figure out how I got here, how can I prevent it from coming back in the future.

So after obsessing about this for a few days, and at the risk of it sounding like a bunch of excuses, this is how I packed on 63lbs of extra weight on my small 5ft 2 frame.

When I got married I was really tiny, I mean really tiny. I had my first child really young, I was 18 years old (almost 19) and had no one around to teach me how I should eat or exercise when pregnant. So I didn’t.

When I gave birth to sissy I once again had no one giving me advise on how to go about loosing the weight. So I didn’t.

When sissy was 6 weeks old we found out she has a really rare genetic disease, and I spent the bulk of the first year at a children’s hospital. I was by myself (hubby had to work a lot), scared, and eating cafeteria food. So with baby number one I packed on 20lbs and kept it on.

Then I got pregnant with baby number 2. This pregnancy was difficult, and I was on bed rest for a while before giving birth to a preemie. Once again I found myself in a NICU.

When he was home and doing well, my hubby and I decided that it was time to give up his comfortable job, and go back to school. We packed up our little family and headed far far away from all our family, and any help I had. I took with my 20 more lbs. from that pregnancy, and added 20 more trying to put my hubby through school, take care of two kids, and work (at a fast food place which contributed to the 20lbs from school).

When I got pregnant with baby number 3 I cried. I knew that my body couldn’t physically handle any more weight. I was granted a small miracle, and while being pregnant with little man I lost 30lbs (without being sick). I took this blessing and ran with it and have taken more weight off with the help of weight watchers (and good friends guiding me). I have less than 10lbs to go (this will not put me back at prebaby weight, but I don’t care to be that small ever again).

I’m sorry for the long novel, but I feel the need to figure out what went wrong. All I can come up with is life is what happened. I guess I just need to be more vigilant, and not let the little traumas in my life keep me from taking care of myself.

So, Do you mind if I ask you how it happened?